"Thank you." I can't even tell you how many times in a day that I say thank you. I have been thoroughly thinking lately, what does it mean to be thankful? What does it look like to have a thankful heart? Am I showing thankfulness by absent mindedly saying "Thank you" throughout the day? These are important things to consider around the holidays, but really all throughout the year. Its a heart thing, reminding ourselves of what is our purpose. If we are living for Christ, shouldn't the fruit be on the tree that we reflect Jesus? Shouldn't we be overflowing with gratitude for Christ's ultimate sacrifice and daily steadfast love?
The answer is yes. Yes, we should. But for some reason, I don't see it. I don't see it in myself much nor around me, but I admit I'm not always looking. I can honestly say, I haven't been overflowing with gratitude. But I want to start giving it back to God. My heart has been filled to the brim with discontentment, comparison, performance, and anxiety due to consistent change. I am suppose to be pointing to Jesus and having a thankful heart that Jesus is sufficient, but I have been pointing to me- I have been striving to be close to Him but then it fails when I prioritize other things.
I tell you this, not because I want you to pity me- but because I think others may deal with similar things. I want to slow down. I want to look at Jesus and say "Thank you." "Thank you for being all I need. Thank you for being my constant, for your steadfast love that sees me through all circumstances (Psalm 107) and thank you that you are my rock. You are my firm foundation that I come to, my shield in the middle of my hardships, the one I cling to. God, I admit that I am very flawed as you know already but I am in love with you. And I thank you for all you have done in history and in my life time. May I be content being in Christ and Christ alone." I think I have been running so long. I have hardly hushed my heart long enough to hear God since Lackland AFB, so this Thanksgiving I rest in Him. I rest in His unchanging, constant, steadfast love and choose to identify not in what I lack but in who He is. He is the beginning and the end, Alpha and Omega, Redeemer, Friend, Liberator, Deliverer, my Rock and my God. May I consistently remember that I have been made new in Him, and because of Him I can identify in Him. In His death. In His resurrection. And every moment in between. And may all these moments transform my walk with him so that I can serve him a little better each day.
Ever since I was a kid, my family hosted these huge thanksgiving lunches at my house with 25+ guests. It was a ton of work making the food, cleaning house, getting up early... But its different this year. I guess 2020 threw everyone for a loop, but for me. I miss my grandma who passed away. I miss her so much. And I miss some friends who have changed life directions who we always celebrated the holidays with. I guess that phrase rings true "absence makes heart grow fonder." I realized that absence and also maturity has made me know how much I really have to be thankful for. My family, I love you even if I don't show it often. And I serve an incredibly good God. I never thought to be thankful for those Thanksgiving feasts at my house, but now I would give anything to have it all again. I am thankful for the past and I am thankful for the present. I have an amazing church who have gone above and beyond to befriend me, encourage me and just run the race with me. I am thankful for all the pie I will eat lol, and all the laughs and tears that may happen. I am thankful that our family expanded 2 years ago, and my brother-in law's family has become part of us. And I am thankful for love, God's love and the unmatched love that is present with family. So, I just surrender all the things that may have some unrest and hope in Christ right here.
Maybe like me, you have been so busy and wonder how you slow down. Often, I feel like I neeeeed to get back to where I was. I was so incredibly close to God in Basic Military Training, but once I got home- I kind of became a different person. I was lost, lazy, unbalanced and struggling. I missed Sgt Tami and Sgt Dixon, the people I met. I realized that my trying to force myself into a place from the past, I never could get there because I was in the present not the past. I encourage you- just be present. Present in the busyness, the chaos or even in the silent moments and present with God. I promise you 100% that He will come to you. Stop striving and just be. Have a thankful heart to the God who is everything you need and more. The God who created the heavens and the earth so that you could be known and loved by him. God who sent his only begotten son (John 3:16) to die a violent death and rise again overcoming all sin and shame. He did that for you, He brought heaven to earth so that you may know personally and then give away his amazing grace, and be thankful. Blessed to be a blessing.
I pray we don't waste our moments. And I pray we have thankful hearts even when it feels like there is no reason to. I pray we point to the point in all seasons because my friends, Jesus is better (Hebrews). And for that accident, I drove by today. One of the worst I have ever seen. For those involved, may you take heart in Jesus. May you be safe, but may you know the unconditional steadfast love of the father and therefore put your faith in him forevermore. I don't know you but I love you.
May our "thank yous" become more than meaningless words, but part of having genuine gratitude more than just twice a year.
And I leave you with this.
"The Lord bless you, and keep you;
The Lord make His face shine on you, And be gracious to you;
The Lord lift up His countenance on you, And give you peace."
Numbers 6:24-26
I love you very much. And Happy Thanksgiving. <3
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