Change occurred at many points in the last year. And to be honest, I can't count them all. My plans really began to change when God introduced me to EPIC Movement and my soon to be church, Church of the Cross - Chandler; Movement ministry ( college ministry for CTCC). I began reading the word like never before and actually understanding. Prayer meetings were my favorite thing to do. And I couldn't go a week without either Boba or some type of Asian style food. My style, taste, habits and thoughts began to change just simply by these people I had just met. I think my wings were beginning to fly by daring to be apart of another culture on the opposite part of town than where I grew up. There have been moments where I feel out of my element, but then I remember just that I'd rather have them and be out of my element than not have them and have my own plans.
I was carrying on in school, and truly excelling. My faith in God was increasing. My family was proud of who I was becoming. I had a decision to make though. I wanted to get shadowing hours and volunteer hours done that summer for my grad school application. I truly felt God was calling me to go to Youth Haven.
Youth Haven. It is a kids camp for disadvantaged children that have experienced loss, neglect, abuse, abandon... the list goes on. I spent four weeks with so many children in the bitter heat of Arizona desert. It was one of the hardest things and most delightful things I have ever done. Although I was with the kids all day long, I loved being away from the city and busyness. I wasn't allowed to have my phone when I was with the kids, so I fell in love with the silence of the lack of technology. And I let the lists of my future plans fall away as I fell in love with Jesus Christ once again. I served the children as if it was life or death that they hear the Gospel that could change their lives. And their struggles, stories and hardships changed my life. The heat, lack of family, lack of sleep- all those conviences were what I complained about, but my prayers were consisting of God leading me so I can go on in pouring out to the children. I believed that each child was given to me for that week for a purpose and praying God would reveal that purpose. I got into the word because I knew I needed it and I lead the bible study each week I was there. It was the children that showed me that there is more purpose than academics, and there is time to let God reveal his purpose. It was in the desert that I was seated in Christ.
I went home to realization that I would never be the same after meeting, holding and praying in desperation for each and every child. I cried so much when I came home because I loved living life for others and not myself. Eventually, I went back to work in the office at the Honors department in ASU West. I realized quickly that I had barely enough money to cover a quarter of the cost of school the following semester. What do I do?
My plans are turned upside down, what do I do? What is the next step? How do I follow Christ? Have I been pursuing something that was never in God's plan?
Truth: God always reveals his plans in His timing.
Looking back, I started listening when my dreams were given a STOP sign by my Lord and Savior. Of course, I listened. I don't think I was pursuing something that wasn't in God's plan, but he was teaching me that the way of getting there is different and better than mine. And allowed me to let go of me and my dreams and desires so I may trust him even when it feels like everything I wanted was turned to ash temporarily. HE IS FAITHFUL IN ALL THINGS AND THROUGH ALL THINGS.
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